Abnormal MRI Findings

After my weird illness that started on March 17, 2024…

I decided I needed to get in somewhere and have my bad self checked out. I was able to get in with a new primary doctor just a few days later and thankfully by that time I was feeling much better. The rash was gone, and it was easy to think I had blown things out of proportion (even though deep down, I KNOW it was an awful and scary sickness).

Thankfully I passed with flying colors! Amazing bloodwork, lady bits still going strong and the only thing I needed to check off the list was my MRI. I’ve been there, done that many times, and while it’s certainly not my favorite thing to do, I’m able to take myself to those appointments now and don’t need an Ativan.

Progress baby!

My MRI

I went to my MRI and it wasn’t so bad. I gave myself a pat on the back and moved on. I didn’t really give it much thought after that since my bloodwork came back ok. About a week later I got my little letter in the mail from the imaging company saying, “You had your MRI, yada yada yada, everything looks good, see you next year”. Only this time, it didn’t say that.

 

I felt like I got punched in the gut.

 

These are the words we hope NEVER to see or hear again. Abnormal Findings. I think I just sat there frozen for a minute trying to wrap my head around why on earth they would send me this letter, because I knew I was ok. I felt ok. My labs were ok. This was NOT happening…again. I started crying and handed the letter to the Josh. He was just as dumbstruck as I was. When you get these letters, they don’t give you any details which absolutely sucks. You just have abnormal findings but no context. I hadn’t heard anything from my doctor either which was confusing. They were (of course) closed so I had to send a message asking for clarification. The letter did state that they wanted to do a follow up ultrasound immediately.

When I logged in to schedule the ultrasound, I was able to find the report from the MRI which thankfully alleviated some of my anxiety. When you say Abnormal Findings my brain and body respond-

CANCER!!! NO! RUN! NOT AGAIN! SHIT!-

The reality was much less dramatic and would have been helpful to have at the time of the initial letter. I had enlarged lymph nodes that looked suspicious. OK. That, I can deal with. I don’t have to be on high alert and checking my will for enlarged lymph nodes. GAH!

So, here’s an interesting point in all of this. I didn’t really tell anyone. Josh knew because, he’s the Josh. But I didn’t tell my parents. I didn’t tell my friends. Well, I told one friend because she’s a darn nurse. I also needed help with kid school pickup and the Josh was going to be out of town. Then I had to mention it to my sister. It’s interesting because it was never a thought, oh, I should update everyone and let them know I’ve had a scare. Weird right!? Sorry Mom and Dad!

I think I didn’t want to worry anyone because… I really did think it would all be ok. And why get upset or be nervous for no reason?!

I pulled up my big girl undies and went to the ultrasound. I think I was more stressed about getting back to pick up the kids on time than the actual ultrasound. It’s certainly preferable to an MRI! One nice thing about an ultrasound is they give you results at the appointment, so no waiting for a phone call or letter.

The tech came back in after talking with the radiologist and asked if I had recently had any vaccinations or illness. Eureka! YES! I had been sick a few weeks ago…could this be it? She agreed and said that they could certainly be enlarged from that. The official results were,

“Borderline lymph nodes in both axilla with thickening measuring 3mm. Likely reactive due to patient’s recent illness.”

PHEW. I mean, my entire body was rocked but this mystery sickness, so it makes sense that it was working overtime to recover. They recommended a follow-up ultrasound in 3 months to make sure they were reducing in size. OK! I can do that! Talk about a huge relief.

Today was that 3-month follow-up ultrasound.

We had a whirlwind July, so I was actually a month late, (I told you I’m not good at going to the doctor!) Today was more of the same. I still have some lymph nodes that have returned to normal, and some still at 3 mm so, we all know what that means! One more follow-up ultrasound in 3 months!

UGH! I will admit, I was disappointed. I was expecting, and hoping, for a clean bill of health. You’re normal. You’re good. Carry on. See you for your next annual MRI. Not so my friends. I had my momentary disappointment and Josh told me to take the win.

“There isn’t anything wrong, so be happy that isn’t something worse.”

I agree. I told him I think there is this underlying level of stress when you’re waiting for confirmation that you’re ok. Even for something seemingly small. I would like to just KNOW that it’s all good. Then that little “what if” whisper in the back of my brain can be shut down.

For now, I’ll tuck it away and try to keep the win in the forefront!

Talk soon,